Exhusted and saddened

Today was exhusting on all levels. I will admit I came home first of
everyone else primarily due to my fatigue and sadness.

Today, after treatment by the peds PT who is just here on Wed this
week, someone left their baby. Just left it. It was lunch, people were
in and out, it had been super busy all morning when we realized the
baby was there with no mom. We are taking her to the rehab center for
the night in hopes that someone can locate the family.

SonSon came in today for a follow up (he's the boy I saw last week
for a home visit). His braces fit worse, he had more sores on his legs
and bottom, and he was crawling with lice and scabies. He's adorable
and smart, but it was very difficult to take. We did adapt a better
wheelchair for him which he seemed to like, and took his picture which
he loves.

Then there was the new consult in inpatient, a 12 year old girl with
just about the worst case of pnemonia I've ever seen or felt. I did
some postural drainage, positioning, and percussion but she was so
tired from breathing she could barely cough. One of the other PTs was
going to find the visiting doctor to see her and try to fing the
missionary group's pediatrician to check on her. I was just so
mentally done I didn't stay to help her, mostly because I knew I would
lose it and be no help. Which makes me sad and proud at the same time.
Sad that I didn't have it in me to follow through, but proud I
acknowledged my limits and let someone help me (which I'm awful at
doing).

It felt right to walk home in the rain after today. I know I'm useful
and doing good work and helping people (my new patient from last week
here after a bad tibia fracture walked in today not using her crutch
and smiling), but I can see how it's easy to see all the suffering and
sadness here and miss or forget the good. I have to strive to find a
balance and remember the little successes along with the difficulties.
Easier said than done, I'm afraid.

Sent from my iPhone